Friday, March 29, 2013

When Innocence Died

I just got back from a five day retreat that we like to call Spring Break Camp. Intense scripture study, awesome community, good food, a zip-line -- it was quite a week. This year, I and 13 other students walked through a series of scriptural texts, documentaries, and conversations in order to learn about the history of gender relations. To say the least, it was emotionally intense. I had my heart broken for the sheer breadth of the chasm between how men and women should interact and how they actually do interact. Sometime soon, I hope to collect some of the lessons from this past week into a post, but for now I want to share a poem written in the midst of emotional distress. My heart was broken after watching a film called Miss Representation, and in the midst of my tears, I asked God to help me write something to distill the emotion of that night. This collection of thoughts is what came out, and to me it is a way for me to re-enter the emotions I experienced that night.




When did innocence die?
        Not the bend of the bough
        Nor the snap of the branch
        Nor the bite of the fruit.
        No
        It was a gleam in the eye and the silence of a man
        The first crack in the glass

        He looked into the mirror
        The reflection gazed back
        And together they whispered:
        "I am like God."

When did innocence die?
        There's a monster in the glass
                But I am like God!
        He has a scar on his face
                But I am like God
        His smile is crooked
                I am like God?
        A hammer in his hand
                I am like God!
        I am like God...
I am like God

        This cry, his plight, his protestation
        Through rotten teeth, with forked tongue
        He whispers still.

When did innocence die?
        Bright paint over broken glass
        A holy charicature
        hides the ghastly corpse
        Ready for show-and-tell


But when the lights turn off, fearful tears betray
        "I am not like my god"
From deepest depths, He calls back
        "You are not like your demon"

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