There is annual, national conference held by an organization called Christian Community Development Association (CCDA), and every year the attendance of Pink House interns is sponsored by First Presbyterian Church in Fresno. The conference takes place very near the beginning of the Pink House, so it's always a great opportunity for the interns to get to know one another better and to build community. What's more, CCDA conference is meant to bring together urban leaders from around the nation in order to learn from one another. As prospective urban leaders, Pink House interns get to be sponges for the training and teaching of experienced, godly ministers from various cities.
For me, CCDA was one of the highlights of the entire year.
Through the speakers and seminars, I learned more fully just how much I have to
learn about ministry. Like the loosening of soil, my mind was made ready for the various lessons that I would be taught throughout the rest of the year. Lessons of community development, loving one's neighbor, and challenging structures of injustice.
One afternoon, I skipped the two seminar sessions to
spend time in the prayer room. All of the content from the previous two days
was stirring something in my heart, and it was more important for me to sit and rest than to learn more. Sitting there, in that quiet room, I found
the space to open the floodgates. There was more than a little crying as I sat
and felt the weight of injustice and brokenness that I was powerless to
change. I cried alone, I cried with a housemate, I cried prayers of grief, and
I cried prayers for redemption.
I didn't know it at the time, but that afternoon spent in
tears was watering the seeds for hope that would grow throughout the rest of the year. As I
felt my smallness compared to the brokenness of this world, I had no idea how
God would slowly, subtly show me the immensity of His redemptive work. That
year, I would see a 1st grader make incredible progress in learning to read, I would see
city council make policies to better the once abandoned downtown area, I would
see a father thank a tutor for the improved behavior of his sons, and many similar experiences. All these small, daily victories would convince me that God's Kingdom is indeed coming to this
world in force. In fact, it has already come.
But while I sat in that prayer room I did not know any of
that. I wept and waited for the hope that I wasn't sure my heart would find.
This year, among other things, was a year of hope. I seek to live my life with intensity of purpose -- to always be in pursuit of God's Kingdom on this earth. There have been many times over the past couple years when I have been afraid that my strength would give way to despair. So prayers for hope in God's redemption have been on my lips often. Those prayers have been answered in many ways this past year! Praise God for the big and small victories, both the ones we see and the ones we don't! I will praise God for how He continues to sustain me with hope.
